FROM THE STAR DEMOCRAT - NATALIE JONES njones@chespub.com Feb 25, 2024
Responsible Fathers Initiative empowers, strengthens men

02/2024

EASTON — In late 2021, Ja’Shaun Wilson had a son on the way.

At the time, Wilson, now 31, was incarcerated at the Talbot County Detention Center.

Already thinking ahead, he recalled wanting to try to figure out how to adapt to being a first-time father before he was released.
 

That’s when he decided to participate in Inside Out Dad, a Responsible Fathers Initiative group held inside the jail.

“... I never really had any strong role models,” he said. “So I just figured, what could it hurt by taking the class?”

To Wilson’s surprise, the group’s curriculum did more than just talk about fatherhood — it prompted him to reflect on himself more deeply and gave him the tools he needed to move forward when he reentered the community, ready to meet his son and be the role model he didn’t have himself.
 

RESPONSIBLE FATHERS, Founded by Corey Pack in 2019, the Responsible Fathers Initiative is a local nonprofit committed to helping enlighten men to the impact fathers have on a family and better prepare them for the duties and responsibilities of fatherhood.

The curriculum it uses was developed by the National Fatherhood Initiative, a broader nonprofit that offers evidence-based fatherhood programs, resources, training and more in an effort to increase fathers’ involvement.

Inspiration for the local initiative began when Pack was asked to help out with an existing fathers’ group in the detention center in 2019.

Pack is no stranger to fatherhood programming. In the mid-2000s, he headed a group in Cambridge for several years before turning his attention to local government, serving on the Talbot County Council for 15 years.

But still, a “burning desire” to get back into it lingered, he said, and his second chance came at just the right time.

“I think God knew my heart. He knew this was something I really wanted to get back into doing,” he said.

The data behind a father’s impact on a family was a motivator for Pack.

Pack said children born in a household without a responsible father are more likely to live in poverty, suffer from abuse or neglect, drop out of school, become involved with drugs and alcohol, and be involved with the criminal justice system.

“...The numbers are telling us (that) when we boil it all down, between race and region and religion and culture, it comes back to the family,” he said. “When the family unit starts to crumble apart, then you see these other ills pop up in our society.”
 

Pack started facilitating in-person groups for men in the detention center in 2019 and initiated a women’s group, too, though the pandemic’s arrival in 2020 hampered some progress.

With the help of Talbot County’s IT department and the Department of Social Services, Pack pivoted into running all-virtual classes for men and women at the detention center throughout the year — a feat no other county in the state was able to do, he said.

Since then, the initiative has grown. Now, it includes three in-person groups inside the detention center, two for men and one for women, along with two community-based men’s groups and two teen dads’ groups, both of which are held in Easton and Cambridge.

Though the curriculums provided by the national initiative help with the lessons learned in groups, the Responsible Fathers Initiative leans on community partners to flesh out its offerings even more.

The Neighborhood Service Center in Easton, Delmarva Community Services, YMCA of the Chesapeake, the Talbot County Department of Social Services, the St. Michaels Community Center and Washington College, among others, are just some of those key partnerships.

“It would not work, cannot work, without the partnerships, without that synergy,” Pack said. “The sum is greater than its parts.”

HELP ON OUTSIDE Those partnerships with other community organizations and county agencies play a significant role in helping the Responsible Fathers Initiative’s mission.

The fatherhood piece of the initiative aligned well with the Neighborhood Service Center’s existing 2Gen program, which provides resources to support the whole family in an effort to increase self-sufficiency and break generational poverty cycles, said Dawn Phillips, who serves as the program’s case manager and the center’s Responsible Fathers Initiative coordinator.

The initiative’s community group for fathers operates at the center’s location on Port Street in Easton and provides meals and wraparound services to participants, including help with housing, transportation, food and financial literacy.

To Phillips, the initiative has been a “major contribution” in working to beat generational poverty cycles.

“The role of the father in the household is huge,” she said.

Regardless of whether fathers are living with their families, the center being able to help men with better communication, improve self-esteem and support education and employment efforts can empower participants and break the cycle.

To Wilson, those supports were invaluable — he received help with enrolling his son in day care and obtaining a voucher for it, he said.

LISTENING, LEARNING, GROWING With multiple meetings running weekly both inside and outside of the detention center, the opportunities for group participants to grow in knowledge of themselves and the commitments and responsibilities associated with fatherhood are ample.

The curriculums in the detention center and in the community are similar, with focuses placed on self-awareness, self-care, fathering skills, parenting skills and relationship skills.

To Pack, the group serves as a supportive, judgment-free zone — a safe space where time is given to listen and be heard.

“... When they can come together in a group and they feel that they have some comfort there, they’re being respected, they’re not being judged, they’re not being told that they’re a deadbeat father or that they’re worthless or they’re not this or that, but allowed to be heard — I think that gives them the empowerment to come back,” he said.

While in the detention center, Wilson always looked forward to going to the group, he said.

He recalled being prompted with “I am” statements, which are commonly used to provide affirmations and challenge negative self-perceived thoughts.

“I had the basis of ‘I am Black,’ ‘I am a man,’ but it made me dig deep for the next go around,” he said. “I had stronger responses because it really made me think about how I view myself or wanted to view myself.”

Being in the group with other men who openly shared their failures and strengths in being a father, along with how it affected them before and during their incarceration, provided a variety of viewpoints for Wilson to consider.

Holding himself accountable, learning the ins and outs of communication, body language and tone through the initiative’s curriculum proved to be some of the key lessons Wilson still remembers today. Those lessons were especially beneficial with navigating co-parenting and having respect for each other, he said.

That work continued when he joined the men’s group held in the community, too.

And although his son is just shy of 2 years old, Wilson knows he wants to be a role model — one who wants to make sure his son knows that it’s OK to cry.

“... A lot of that is stigmatized, and I want him to know it’s OK to show your emotions basically, because that’s what a lot of us are taught not to do,” he said. “I just want to let him know that it’s OK to have emotions and to show them, and the proper ways to deal with them — that’s the type of stuff I’d like to instill in him.”

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